


We'll Have Each Other's Arms

by zebraljb



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:28:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22438744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: Eggsy comes home from a mission to learn they've lost an agent...on Merlin's watch.
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 59





	We'll Have Each Other's Arms

Eggsy yawns and stretches, burying his face in the pillow and groaning. “Agent Galahad,” the voice says over the speaker. 

He rolls over and slaps the intercom button. “Yes?” He yawns.

“We are approaching headquarters…we’ll need you to get up and buckle in. Wheels down in perhaps forty minutes.”

“Yeah, okay.” He rubs at his face. “Thanks.” He stretches again, sits up, and throws his pillow across the room. WHY did he go to sleep? He never sleeps on the way back from a mission, basically because he wakes up feeling miserable and practically hung over. 

Merlin. That’s why. Because Merlin is worth jet lag and nap time and every other annoying thing about returning from a long mission. He’s sleeping now so he can try to realign his internal clock with Merlin’s. Hopefully his handsome boyfriend has made arrangements to take at least one day off with Eggsy, because Eggsy (and his dick) have been making all sorts of plans. Horizontal plans. Perhaps vertical ones, too; Merlin’s nothing if not inventive.

Eggsy bounces out of bed, touches his toes ten times, and retrieves the tossed pillow. He makes the bed as best he can, even though he knows housekeeping will clean the jet as soon as it lands. It’s the principal of the thing…a gentleman takes care of his quarters. He also knows how much the housekeeping crew gossips and he doesn’t want to be the messy agent they talk about over lunch.

He pulls on his trousers, brushes his teeth, and then dresses the rest of the way. He’s itching for his civilian clothes, but Arthur is a stickler for proper dress and decorum, even after a five day mission in the middle of nowhere. Eggsy’s proud of the work he’s done on this mission, proud of how much he accomplished with minimal guidance from Merlin’s department. He has no problem putting on his suit of armor and meeting Arthur head-on.

As soon as the stairs drop Eggsy is out the door. He’s pleased to see Arthur himself waiting at the edge of the hangar, although this isn’t Harry’s usual behavior. He grins and starts to call out a greeting, remembering himself at the last time. “Arthur, sir, lovely to see you.”

“Welcome home, Galahad.” Harry smiles, but it’s not his normal smile. He looks almost pained, a tightness around his eye that is completely unfamiliar.

Eggsy actually pats himself down, making sure his tie is knotted correctly, and that his hair isn’t out of place. “Everything all right, sir?”

“Well, yes, but…” Harry actually looks uncomfortable. Eggsy is officially alarmed and all professionalism goes out the window.

“Fuck, Harry…it ain’t…it ain’t my mum. Daisy?” Eggsy’s voice drops into a whisper.

“What? Oh, no! Nothing like that all! Your loved ones are fine, I do apologize.” Harry looks horrified. “Well, not exactly fine.”

“For fuck’s sake, Harry, spit it out!” Eggsy says angrily.

“It’s Merlin.” Eggsy stumbles and leans against the closest wall. “Not like that, my boy.” Harry puts a hand on Eggsy’s shoulder. “I’m fucking this up.”

“You could say that,” Eggsy says weakly.

“Merlin is fine physically. It’s just…yesterday he was running a mission for Gawain. Things went…tits up. There was an explosion and…”

“Gawain?” Eggsy whispers. Harry simply hangs his head. “Jesus.” He’s always liked Gawain, a happy-go-lucky man in his thirties who loves a good practical joke as much as he loves a good pint of lager. Loved…not loves. “Hamish,” Eggsy whispers, the light bulb going off. “How is he?”

“He refuses to leave his desk. Refuses to eat. Hasn’t slept. I’m not even sure he’s used the loo in the last thirty hours. He growls at anyone who comes near him, even me. I, of course, never feel threatened by him, but even I cannot get him to leave.” Harry gives him a small smile. “He needs you, Eggsy. I’ve authorized five days leave for you both, and we can find a way to stretch it to a week if you need it.”

“Thanks.” Eggsy checks his tie again, straightens his shoulders, and prepares to order his stubborn boyfriend home where he belongs.

The man behind Merlin’s desk, however, doesn’t look like Eggsy’s boyfriend at all. There are shadows below the red eyes and his entire body is hunched with fatigue. The fingers move over the keyboard as quickly as ever, even though Merlin’s voice rasps and cracks. “Nae, Vivienne…we need him to come in from the south. I read through the schematics for an hour this morning.”

“Hamish,” Eggsy whispers.

“Ye are to call me Merlin in this room, Galahad,” Merlin says sternly without looking up from his monitor. As if Eggsy hasn’t been gone for six days. As if he’s nothing more than an agent. 

Right. Fuck that. Eggsy takes a deep breath and prepares to do the unthinkable. He strides across the room, leans over Merlin’s back, and whips the glasses from his face. Eggsy pokes them onto his own head and says, “Vivienne? This is Agent Galahad.”

“Thank God,” she exclaims. “I mean, yes, Agent Galahad?”

“I’ve met with Arthur, and Merlin will be off coms for at least five days. All contact will go through Arthur, and he will decide how much you actually need to speak with Merlin.”

“Understood, sir. Rest assured we have everything under control here.” Her voice softens. “Take him home, Galahad.”

“I will. Thank you.” Eggsy waits to hear the click of the connection terminating before putting the glasses back on Merlin. “Okay, let’s go home.”

Merlin’s hand trembles as he pushes the glasses into place. “How DARE you?” He seethes. “Ye have no right…”

“Actually, I do. I have all the right, bestowed upon me by Arthur himself. By his orders you are to get your stubborn arse out of that chair and come home with me. If you resist I have approval to dart you and take you home anyway.”

“I have work to do.”

“No. You have resting to do.” Eggsy turns Merlin’s chair around. “Don’t make me dart you, Hamish, please.”

Merlin slowly stands and immediately loses his balance. Obviously he hasn’t been out of the chair for quite some time. “I will come along with ye, but only because I dinnae wish to make a fool out of myself having ye carry me out.”

“Good.” He puts a hand on Merlin’s arm but it’s quickly thrown off.

Merlin stumbles a bit, stops to get his bearings, and then continues to his office door. His gait steadies as he goes, and he starts to unfold himself into his normal posture. Eggsy remains a few steps behind, neither of them saying a word to anyone they pass in the corridor. Merlin falls onto the seat in the train and Eggsy sits across from him, not even trying to touch him. Anger still radiates from Merlin’s long body, and he focuses his eyes somewhere above Eggsy’s head. His beautiful eyes are swollen and tired, the hazel centers rimmed with red lines. Eggsy desperately wants to pull Merlin into his arms, cradle the bald head against his chest, but that will have to wait.

The ride in the lift at the shop seems to take an eternity. Merlin stands tall but sways from side to side ever so slightly. Eggsy remains alert for any sign Merlin’s going to fall, but he stays upright until they’re crawling into the back of a Kingsman cab. “Home, please,” he tells the driver, and the man nods.

They are silent throughout the drive, and Eggsy allows Merlin to walk ahead and let them into their tiny house. Merlin drops the keys in the bowl by the door, turns to Eggsy, and says, “I’m home…are ye happy?”

“Not yet,” Eggsy says. “Could you please come into the kitchen?” He keeps his tone polite, his words professional. The wall around Merlin is like nothing he’s ever seen, and he figures his best course of action is to slowly pick at it, not send a wrecking ball through. “I don’t think you’ve eaten in quite some time, and I’ll make you something light.”

“I’m nae hungry,” Merlin says, even as his stomach grumbles in quite a contradictory manner. “But if it will get ye off my back…”

“Thank you,” Eggsy says. He goes into the kitchen without looking to see if Merlin’s following him. He hears a chair pull away from the table as he digs through the cupboards and comes out with a can of soup. He pours it into a microwave-safe bowl and gets it to heating before pouring Merlin a glass of water.

“I dinnae want water. I want Scotch.”

“Not on a stomach as empty as yours,” Eggsy says simply. The microwave dings and he places the soup in front of Merlin along with a spoon and a napkin. “Eat up.”

He busies himself with cleaning the kitchen. It’s obvious Merlin hasn’t been there for a few days, and he makes a face as he washes the few dishes in the sink. He can hear the spoon scraping through the bowl; at least Merlin’s eating. As he’s washing the last plate he hears the spoon hit the bottom of the container with a thud. Eggsy calmly finishes what he’s doing, dries his hands, and turns around. Merlin is leaning back and glaring at him. “I ate.”

“I see.” Eggsy brings the container to the sink and quickly washes it. “Let’s go upstairs. I’m ready to get into some comfortable clothes.”

“I am quite comfortable.”

Eggsy snorts. He can’t help it. “Bruv, that jumper is ready to walk off your body by itself. Let’s go.” He stands and waits for Merlin to get up.

“Christ, ye are fucking annoying.” 

The irritated tone of Merlin’s voice slices at Eggsy’s heart a bit but he forces himself not to dwell on it. This isn’t his Hamish, not really, and he doesn’t mean anything he says. Merlin plods up the stairs, his steps heavy and slow. He turns into the bedroom and stands in the middle of the room. “Gonna draw you a bath soon as I get out of this thing.” Eggsy starts to undress, quickly whipping his fingers through the knot of his tie and tossing it onto the dresser. “Then maybe a nap?”

“I am nae a child, ye know. I dinnae need a fucking nap!” Merlin shouts. “I’m fine and I dinnae know why ye are making such a big deal out of this.”

“Out of what, Hamish?” Eggsy asks softly.

“A mission gone awry. Missions fall apart all the time.”

“True.”

“Ye know as well as anyone how many mistakes an agent can make.”

“That’s right,” Eggsy says. He can’t help but wince this time. “I fuck up on the regular, I get it.”

“Gawain rarely made mistakes,” Merlin says. Something in his face starts to crumble and Eggsy stops unbutton his shirt. He takes a few steps closer but doesn’t touch. “He was an exemplary agent. I missed the signs. I didn’t think they’d return so soon. This…this was my fault.” Merlin seems to collapse upon himself, starting with his face and then his entire body. Eggsy surges forward and manages to catch Merlin as his legs give way. 

“Shh…I got ya, babe. I got ya.” Eggsy cushions Merlin’s fall with his own body, ignoring the way his hip hits the floor with an alarming crack. 

“My fault…I should have seen it. I did all the work on this…Cedric was running your mission because I cannot, I was overseeing Gawain…”

“Hamish, ain’t your fault, babe. Swear down…things happen, can’t control the entire world.” Eggsy kisses the top of his head. “That bath sounds aces, don’t it? Let’s get you undressed. You can talk about it, or not talk about it, just let me help you, okay? Let me take care of you.”

“I failed,” Merlin all but whimpers, but he allows Eggsy to push him back up. 

Eggsy quickly undresses down to his pants and helps Merlin do the same. He simply tosses their clothes onto the bed; he can worry about them later. He takes Merlin by the hand and leads him into their large en suite, a room almost the same size as their other bedrooms. It’s the one extravagance in the house, something they’d agreed upon immediately and pooled their resources to make happen. 

Eggsy starts the water and pours some bubbles into it, then turns to Merlin. “Gonna take these off,” he warns, running his fingers into the elastic of Merlin’s pants. “Okay?” Merlin nods and Eggsy slides them down the long legs. Merlin steps out of them and shivers a bit. “Water’s nice and warm,” Eggsy promise. “I’d love to climb in there with ya, babe, but if you don’t want me…”

“I need you,” Merlin says finally, and Eggsy nods.

“You got me.” He climbs into the tub as the water level continues to rise, and it’s only once he stops the flow that he reaches out a hand. Merlin takes it, daintily steps into the tub, and they both sit and get themselves situated. Their large tub is one of the best inventions ever, in Eggsy’s opinion…right up there with sliced bread and unlimited data. He spread his knees as best he can and Merlin’s slender hips fit just right between his thighs. He cradles Merlin’s body with his arms and legs, reaching for a nearby cup and using it to pour water over Merlin’s neck and shoulders. Merlin shivers once more and wiggles a bit, allowing his body to slowly relax against Eggsy’s. “That’s my love.” Eggsy kisses the top of his head. “Just relax…I have you.”

“I failed,” Merlin says again.

“I know you think that right now, but eventually you’ll reevaluate everything and realize that’s not true.” 

“I lost an agent.” Merlin turns his face into Eggsy’s arm and starts to sob, great heaves that make the water dance. Eggsy simply holds him close, wrapping everything he can around Merlin to make him feel loved. He leans his face against the top of Merlin’s head and simply allows him to pour out his frustration, his guilt, his despair. As angry as Merlin gets with the agents when they ignore his instructions or destroy his tech, he loves each and every one like family, and losing one is like losing a part of his soul.

The sobs eventually subside but Eggsy refuses to let go. Finally he peels one arm away so he can pick up the cup and start pouring the warm water over parts of Merlin that aren’t submerged. Merlin shudders, his teeth actually biting down into the meat of Eggsy’s arm. Eggsy jumps a bit, startled, but does nothing else. “You’ve got to give a little…take a little…” Eggsy’s voice is barely above a whisper, somewhere between singing and murmuring. “And let your poor heart break a little…that’s the story of, that’s the glory of love…” Merlin’s teeth soon pull away and Eggsy shifts them a bit, rolling Merlin more onto his back. Eggsy picks up a flannel and wets it, then applies a bit of soap. “You’ve got to laugh a little…cry a little…until the clouds roll by a little…that’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.” He presses his lips to Merlin’s head as the flannel swirls over the smooth chest. “As long as there’s the two of us, we’ve got the world and all its charms…and when the world is through with us…we’ve got each other’s arms…”

“My Eggsy.” The words are barely more than a sigh, but Eggsy smiles at the sound.

“You’ve got to win a little, lose a little, yes, and always have the blues a little…that’s the story of, that’s the glory of love…” A strong hand reaches up to cup his cheek and Eggsy plants a kiss on the palm. “That’s the story of…that’s the glory of love…”

Merlin slowly sits up and turns to face him. Eggsy sits up as well. “Ye are back from your mission.”

Eggsy smiles at the ridiculousness of that statement. “Apparently.”

“Ye worked hard, from what Cedric told me. Ye did a wonderful job. I should have been the one to welcome ye, not Harry. I should have congratulated ye and…”

“Shh, babe, stop.” Eggsy presses a finger to Merlin’s lips. “You have welcomed me dozens of times, taken care of me when I really needed it. This time, thankfully, I didn’t need it. But YOU needed ME, and I will ALWAYS take care of you when you need me, no matter what kind of mission I’m coming back from.”

“I’m sorry,” Merlin says sorrowfully.

“Miss me with that stupid shite,” Eggsy snaps. “Should we add more water?”

“Nae. I would like…I would like to hold ye in bed.” Merlin actually looks nervous.

“Nope.” Eggsy stands and drains the water. “But I’ll hold YOU in bed.”

Merlin makes a face but climbs out of the tub. They quickly dry off and head for the bedroom. Eggsy shoves their clothing onto the floor and flips back the duvet. “Really, lad?”

Eggsy smiles at the hint of his Hamish’s return. “Won’t kill us just this once.” He climbs into bed and opens his arms. Merlin follows him and cuddles close.

“I yelled at ye,” Merlin suddenly realizes.

“You did.”

“I called ye annoying.” Eggsy shrugs. “Eggsy…”

“I AM annoying sometimes. But this weren’t you and I knew it. It’s all good, swear down.” Eggsy squeezes him.

“This isn’t my first lost agent.” Merlin kisses Eggsy’s chest above his heart. “But it’s the first time I’ve had someone here to take care of me when it happened. I don’t…thank ye, Eggsy.”

“You’re welcome, Hamish.” Eggsy rests his cheek on Merlin’s head.

“This is why I can never monitor one of your missions. If this happened to ye and it was because of my guidance…I could not live with myself.”

“I know. I get it.”

“I love ye, my heart.” Merlin tilts his head up and kisses him.

“I love you, Hamish. You’re the reason I do my level best on every mission…so I can come home safely to you.”

They don’t speak for a long time, their mouths finding one another as their hands wander. They roll about until Eggsy is pressed above Merlin, his body rutting and wiggling against him as Merlin’s large hands hold him close. They peel apart for only a moment, long enough for Eggsy to fumble through the nightstand for lube and a condom. He takes his time opening Merlin up, allowing his fingers and tongue to express his love just as easily as his words do. When he’s finally pushing inside Merlin is crying again, but this time it’s one tear from each eye as his lips suck at Eggsy’s neck.

When they finally move apart, chests heaving and mouths dry from panting, Merlin turns to give Eggsy one more chaste kiss. “I do not deserve ye.”

“Oh, you most definitely do. And the next time this happens…which hopefully ain’t gonna be for a long long time…I’ll be here to catch you when you fall.”

**Author's Note:**

>  _The Glory of Love_ \- Billy Hill (1936)


End file.
